I have failed myself. Failed miserably in the attempt to be a “better” person. Ghosts of the past haunt viciously. Willpower is waning. The defense personality sets in. I only see black.
I am stripped of all other emotion. I have lost in this battle to subside an older self. And the worst part is, I am aware. I don’t deny the knowledge. I take full responsibility for my actions. Whether they are in err or not.
This pain on my wrist is but an echo of a voice long forgotten. A melody to which I have attuned myself… and then subsequently deafenened myself to.
The failure pains me more than it would my beloved ones. For in the brief period where I was able to put forth control, I basked in pride.