I can hardly care. Nothing amuses me anymore. I can almost hear the hollowness of my own laughter. Feel a twinge brought about by an effort to smile. I look at you and I wonder if you can sense it… the emptiness. the pain. the urgency. the apathy.
Sometimes there is bliss in Idiocy. I now understand why most people would rather blind themselves from the situation at hand. Took me long enough. This existence is but a joke to the gods. Or a pawn for something.
Life is but a series of learning and unlearning… something a friend once told me. I guess I’ve learned all that I could and now, I am on that process of unlearning? The contradiction within me is so great, I often feel suffocated. Sometimes the most complicated problems have the dumbest solutions or summaries. And more oft than not, the simplest things have the most complicated explanations. I fear for what I am capable of doing. For what my mind is capable of conceiving. Things that I know only a select few would comprehend.
Each of us is unique. Most are given the gift of ignorance. And to some, the curse of awareness. Or wisdom. Call it what you will.
I feel the pain of this country. The suffering it tries to endure day by day. I hear the cries of its people. An agony that has long been dismissed. Or accepted as a natural fact.
My heart is bleeding with pity… until it bleeds no more. And all that’s left is Bitterness. Anger. Apathy.
Do you see the transition?